... with Richard Simmons... not even kidding.
I was very young. I mean about six years old. Watching my mom groove with a curly haired girly man in pink tights to "It's My Party" looked like the most fun I had ever seen... at six. So I played along a bit on my own and eventually asked for Barbie's version of a dance workout starring the young Jennifer Love Hewitt. At this point I had no idea this was about losing weight or getting into shape. I just thought I was learning how to dance... and this is why I can't dance :D.
After this I moved onto actual jazz dancing classes, self choreographed routines with my girlfriends and cheesy talent shows in my elementary school. My love of performing never ceased, but the actual performing did because of having stage fright. & I still can't dance...but i will anyway:)
I didn't think much of my weight at all until fourth grade. Apparently I was fat... according to my so called best friend. Needless to say we're not friends at all today, but the scars stuck. I wasn't fat. At all. But, she was. And, that I did remember. Explains a lot.
Then came junior high. All of a sudden girls have boobs and guys are paying a considerable amount of attention to this. So... I wanted boobs. Bad enough to stuff my bra. Then again, who wasn't? Why I felt I needed the male attention? I didn't know then. But, i didn't have to stuff my bra for long. My wish was granted. Along with those, the boob fairy seemed to have accidently dropped another pair into my butt and thighs. Fantastic! Now i was kinda chubby and this time i noticed.
Billy Blanks was like a dream come true. I lost the weight fast, but at that time i didn't think about the fact that maybe the weight loss had something to do with eating very little. Nevertheless, I was skinny, with boobs. Thus, happy. Stupid I know, but try telling a fourteen year old that. Then came along boys, followed by booze... followed by drugs, followed by dropping out, two kids and a fifty pound weight gain. Boobs?! BOOBS?! at this point I would have given them to any one, two or three people if i could have. I sure as hell had enough to go around! I no longer wanted boobs, or male attention. I just plain hated myself, but wasn't ready to give up. This is where my perspective changed.
I was looking in the mirror one day, from the side... sucking in my gut and for a moment i was like: "Yeah... that's my new goal." I would have loved to have had my so-called chubby fourteen year old body back. Then something broke my gaze. A voice... one to this day still gets under my skin: "I think it's funny how girls think they look skinny from the side when they're not." Yup.... what a thoughtful thing to say to your girlfriend. Nevertheless, I started taking care of myself for me and the kids and nobody else. It wasn't about being skinny to get the guy. This time it was about self-empowerment. My entire physical, mental, and spiritual search became so important that the weight loss was just a bonus. But, this is about fitness so.....
One word: P90X... if you can call it a word. It was a miracle to say the least. I went from popping in the first DVD and crying my way through a brutal attempt... to feeling sexy in 90 days. But, I wanted more. I had energy for my kids. More than enough. But, I wanted to be able to do pull-ups without help, and I wanted abs that truly rocked and a butt that popped. I wanted the endurance to not only keep up with the guys, but to smoke em'! I needed more. So I figured I'd do more. Not cool. I did P90X again... and again. The fat loss wasn't happening. My body could perform well, but i felt stuck. I honestly thought this might be as good as it was gonna get. The only thing that kept me from giving up was knowing there were so many people out there who were in stupidly amazing shape. Even the people in P90X were significantly more ripped than I was ever gonna get on it. P90X took me from point A to point B. but i was thinking: "What about point C, D, E, F, G, H and I.......?"
Ahhhhh *sigh* I met a guy. My soon to be husband, Nolan, and he was a gym rat. Flat out stereotypical gym rat. I took to it right away and walked in with the "skills" I had learned from P90X, a bunch of internet research and a couple of books. Here, I started lifting weights & running. But, this wasn't by any means more intense than what I had been doing at home, so i was skeptical. Jim from the gym, and owner of Universal Fitness in Medicine Hat asked me why I was running first, and i didn't really know why. He said: "Lift your weights first, then run. Use your sugar stores for the energy to lift, then run after to lose the fat." Hmmm.... made sense. So I did and although i had no idea what i was doing as far as progression went, my weights got a little heavier and i was seeing more muscle. So... I stuck to the gym. I lifted weights and ran my face off every day! at least six out of seven days a week! I was a machine.... Correction: I THOUGHT i was a machine.
We had been living in Red Deer for almost six months, and while i was continuing on my fitness journey, i decided that after nine months of doing the same thing, and not getting the fat loss results I was now so fixated on, I would throw in the towel and hire a personal trainer. I had no idea that this decision was anything but throwing in the towel. Not with her though. She taught me further things about form with machines... and that was really all. Told me to add a little more protein to my diet. She also asked if I thought about competing. But then went on to show a flaky attitude. Very unprofessional. I gave her up. It just didn't feel right. I went to someone else.
Mega Marty MacPhee. I seen him around the gym. His personal style was.... strange, I thought. But, hard to miss and I was always surprised with how confident he was. Always up-beat. Always talking. Always guiding. Then, when I asked the girls about someone to help with my fat loss, they recommended him. Best thing I could have ever done for myself! I can't believe I actually thought I knew a damn thing at all. The information spewing from his brain was more valuable than anything I had read or tried thus far. I thought I knew about nutrition. I thought I ate well. Sure I made good decisions, mostly clean. But, Marty taught me so much more! He taught me about how important protein really was and had me eating a whole cow and six chickens every day! I'm kidding, of course. But, it definitely felt like it. He brought my carbs down, helped time my meals appropriately, and kicked my body into terminator mode. The fact that I also thought I was lifting weights is now actually considerably funny to think about. If anything I was "playing" with dumbells and pullies. He taught me about real progression, keeping journals and paying attention to my body and my mind. Also about not over-training. He cut my cardio down to twice a week. Ditched my x-bike classes, and I lost fat. And I lost a little more. In August I wore my first bikini since I was a skinny 16 year old girl. I feel strong & I feel UNREAL!
BUT....... I want more! Yep. The skinny part seems like cake walk now that I know what works. I don't know what's going to get me really super lean yet... but Marty does. So, that's already taken care of. All I have to do is the work. My goals have changed, I want more muscle. I want more over all strength. I wanna be a powerhouse. So this means gaining some of that fat lost, giving up the intense cardio and finding a comfy place being "fluffy", as he puts it, so that I can make this happen. I don't know if I will ever compete. The idea of being on a stage freaks me right out. But, by next February, I will be able to do pull-ups. By next Summer, I will have my rockin' abs and I will have a well earned butt that pops.... As for the guy? Not guys now, just guy... my love... I hope you can keep up lol.
